CaringBridge

My friend Mindi has set up a caringbridge website for Jason.

you can go to www.caringbridge.org and type in jasonschenewark (no spaces) to go to his page. There, you can keep up with our journey by reading the journal. The Guestbook has been a blessing. It's awesome to get on and see that people from all over, some who we don't even know, are lifting our family up in prayer.

Last night we spent the evening with friends, eating, playing catch phrase, laughing, and we ended the night with a time of serious prayer by adoring God, confessing that we all fall short, thanking Him for our blessing, and petitioning Him with bold supplication. (ACTS)

two eight year olds wrote this prayer for Jason and I had to share it...



("Dear God, thank you for this day. we pray that you would bless becky and jason and help jason to fight his cancer. amen")

It is hanging on the wall across from his bed in his hospital room.

I am SOOO thankful for our Woodcrest family who has come through for us in BIG ways!! Last night was a great stress free night to take our mind off of today.

Today is day one of chemo. So far so good.

here is the view out of our hospital room:



If you have to be in a hospital on new years eve, I think it's a pretty good view.

we also found out the results of the PET scan today. It came back clear. another mightily answered prayer.

We continue to delight in the Lord.

Psalm 86
A prayer of David.
1 Hear, O LORD, and answer me,
for I am poor and needy.
2 Guard my life, for I am devoted to you.
You are my God; save your servant
who trusts in you.

3 Have mercy on me, O Lord,
for I call to you all day long.

4 Bring joy to your servant,
for to you, O Lord,
I lift up my soul.

5 You are forgiving and good, O Lord,
abounding in love to all who call to you.

6 Hear my prayer, O LORD;
listen to my cry for mercy.

7 In the day of my trouble I will call to you,
for you will answer me.

8 Among the gods there is none like you, O Lord;
no deeds can compare with yours.

9 All the nations you have made
will come and worship before you, O Lord;
they will bring glory to your name.

10 For you are great and do marvelous deeds;
you alone are God.

11 Teach me your way, O LORD,
and I will walk in your truth;
give me an undivided heart,
that I may fear your name.

12 I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart;
I will glorify your name forever.

13 For great is your love toward me;
you have delivered me from the depths of the grave. [a]

14 The arrogant are attacking me, O God;
a band of ruthless men seeks my life—
men without regard for you.

15 But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God,
slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.

16 Turn to me and have mercy on me;
grant your strength to your servant
and save the son of your maidservant. [b]

17 Give me a sign of your goodness,
that my enemies may see it and be put to shame,
for you, O LORD, have helped me and comforted me.

One In A Million

When I tell you that my husband is one in a million... I mean it literally!!

We have had many prayers answered this week!! I want to thank everyone who has literally been on their knees in prayer for Jason. We have felt those prayers tremendously. I truly feel that prayer has grabbed us up under the arms and kept us standing.

Last Wednesday Jason was admitted to the hospital after initial pathology reports from his biopsy the Friday before suggested that he has a rare and aggressive lymphoma. The oncology specialist working with us wanted him to have CT scans done of his neck, chest, abdomen, and pelvis and also get a bone marrow biopsy. The scans were Wednesday night. The biopsy was thursday morning. On Thursday morning when Dr. Freter, our oncologist, came to do the biopsy he told us that the scans from the night before showed that there was no evidence of any tumors anywhere else in Jasons body.

Jason has asked that I not tell people yet exactly what type of lymphoma he has... But it's so aggressive and rapid growing that's it's usually in more than one place in your body by the time it's caught and that it being localized just in his neck, while not impossible, is extremely rare. So here Jason has a type of lymphoma that comprises less than ten percent of all non hodgkins lymphomas... And he's even got a rare case of that!! But this time his rarity is in our favor and a huge answered prayer!!!! With that prayer answered, we started praying that the bone marrow would come back clean and I'm thrilled to tell you all that I spoke with Dr. Freter on the phone this afternoon and he told me that jason's bone marrow came back clean!!!!! What a relief!! And again... Almost never seen with this type of lymphoma.

My husband is one in a million.

Thank you for your prayers!!!! We delight in the Lord!!! (Psalm 37)

The Rest Of The Story

As Paul Harvey would say.

I know many of you feel like my blog news yesterday came out of nowhere and while the last couple of days HAVE felt like a living nightmare, it's actually something Jason and I have been quietly dealing with for a few weeks.

About five or six weeks ago, Jason asked me if I noticed a lump in his neck. We both just played if off as a swollen lymph node. But two or three weeks later when the lump was still there we thought it might be time to get it checked out. Luckily we have several great ENT doctors at church, one being an elder, Dr. Jerry Templer. So one afternoon while we were in the car, I called Dr. Templer at the hospital and asked him if we could come by his office that afternoon if he had time to look at this lump in jason's neck. Instead, he invited us out to his home that evening. After he looked at the lump he said that it was probably nothing, but that if it was a member of his family he would have them have it checked out and he told us that he would set us up with another one of the doctors from church, Dr. Jeff Jorgensen. The next day, nurses from Dr. Jorgensen's office were calling Jason to schedule an appointment. Three days later we were sitting in a room with Dr. Jorgensen, and he was saying that he wanted to needle biopsy the lump which he did that same day. That day was also only the fifth day that we had been married and Jason's parents had driven to Columbia with a trailer to help load up my stuff. It was a Friday. December 11th.

On Monday, we were literally headed out the door to go to financial peace at church and Jason's phone rang. It was Dr. Jorgensen. The results of the needle biopsy had come back "inconclusive" but it was suspicious for lymphoma. That was the first time we'd heard the word in regards to a possible diagnosis for Jason.

That night, instead of going to financial peace, we went to eat supper at a Chinese buffet and process the information that we'd just gotten. We decided to hold out hope that the lump was just nothing and by not making a big deal of it, the only people we told were our parents.

Since the needle biopsy had come back "inconclusive," the next step was for Jason to have surgery to remove a larger piece of the lymph node to be biopsied. The ball got rolling very quickly, and he ended up being scheduled for surgery on the 18th. Last Friday. Just four days after we'd gotten the phone call from Dr. Jorgensen.

Jason's parents and his oldest sister came up to Columbia to wait with me while Jason was in surgery. We had been told that the plan had changed from just taking a larger piece of the lymph node to actually removing the whole node, but when the operating surgeon came to talk to us after the surgery we found out that he couldn't remove the whole node and that by his guess we should bet on it being lymphoma. But in the very next breath, as doctors do, he gave us a sliver of hope that it still could turn out to be nothing. I tried facing reality... Jason clung to hope... And in the meantime we told all of the kids in very general terms what was going on. That was all on Friday the 18th.

Monday the 21st Jason and I were in the car headed back home to the farm after being in court in Columbia all day. We stopped at a mcdonalds for drinks and Jason went in to get them... Leaving his phone in the truck... Which he never does. And don't you know... It rings. And it's the hospital. Dr. Jorgensen calling to give us initial findings from the biopsy. It's been confirmed. Lymphoma. And I'm left to break the news to Jason. Not only that... But he started using specific words that I knew from Internet research were BAD!

One of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life was go with Jason that night over to his kids moms house to give them the news in person that their dad has cancer. At that point we still didn't know for sure how aggressive it is but Jason had a follow up appointment on Wednesday with the operating surgeon and we figured we'd get more answers then.

Wednesday we went for the follow up appointment. The doc removed the stitches from the incision then shook jason's hand and told us to have a merry Christmas. But I had questions and wanted answers!! I told him what we'd been told on the phone from Dr. Jorgensen the night before and asked him if he knew anything about it. He told us to stay for a minute while he went to check and fifteen minutes later finally came back. He told us that the final report from pathology had just come back that day confirming that Jason does have a very rare and very aggressive type of lymphoma. The bad word that I knew from Internet research. Right then and there, that doctor set us up an appointment that very day with a specialist over at the cancer center. And after meeting with the specialist who is internationally reknowned for his research on this specific rare type of lymphoma he decided to admit Jason to the hospital that night. The type of lymphoma Jason has is so aggressive and rapid spreading that it has the ability to double every 14 hours. The specialist wanted to get CT scans and a bone marrow biopsy to find out the extent of advancement and staging of the lymphoma in Jason. So that's what we did last night and today. Jason stayed overnight in the hospital last night but got to come home today praise the Lord!! The results of the CT scan was that there is no evidence of any other tumors anywhere else in his body which is rare for this already rare lymphoma!! When I say my husband is one in a million I literally mean it! Had the results been different, he would have started chemotherapy today and we'd be spending Christmas in the hospital.

We won't know the results of the bone marrow biopsy until early next week which will determine the strength of chemotherapy jason gets. It is my prayer that you never have to watch someone you love go through a bone marrow biopsy!!! That was SO not fun.

Jason starts chemotherapy on Thursday. We are asking for prayers during this phase of our life. Prayers that of course the cancer will be beat. That jason's body will be healed. And also prayers for us as a newly married couple and combined family. There's no doubt that this journey is going to be rough on ALL of us.

I guess I will sign off for tonight. There is a rule in our house that there's no talking about cancer on Christmas. :)












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The Day My Life Changed Forever

There have been many dates in my life that I will never forget. Dates that my life changed forever. July 22 2000 at the young age of 19 I jumped headfirst into a marriage. August 23 2003 I found out that I was pregnant for the first time. April 24 2004 my son was born. August 3 2005 I found out I was pregnant again. April 14 2006 my daughter was born. April 5 2007 a divorce I never imagined was finalized. August 6 2008 I met a guy named Jason Schenewark. December 6 2009 I married that guy. December 23 2009 we are told that Jason has a very rare and very aggressive form of non-hodgkins lymphoma. My life has changed forever. Again.

Right now I am sitting in a chair at the foot of jason's hospital bed. I woke up in the lounge this
morning when the woman sleeping in the chair next to me got up for coffee. Last night was our first night alone with no kids since we got married two and a half weeks ago. And as cruel fate would have it... It was also our first night apart. Jason's room is so tiny and he has a roommate so visitors aren't allowed to stay overnight in the room with him. I spent Christmas Eve Eve on a hard plastic pull out chair tossing and turning in the visitors lounge.

Last night I looked out the window of the hospital and saw cars driving to their destinations. People busy. And it occured to me... How many times have I driven past this hospital with no thought to who might be hurting inside it's walls while my biggest complaint is that they didn't have whatever I was looking for at wal mart? Last night as I stood looking out the window I saw the world going on around me while it felt like mine has stopped. And I felt guilty for all the times that I've been upset over petty things. Today... If you drive past the hospital... could you take a minute or two to say a quick prayer for the patients and their families there? If would mean a lot.

So what now?? Jason has a bone marrow biopsy this morning and hopefully we will get the results back from the CT done late last night. After those two things we will know better where exactly the disease is in his body, how advanced it is, and how aggressively we need to start treating it.

We are refusing to let Satan steal our joy. Every tear we've cried, God has held in His hands and even though our hearts are torn... We will praise Him in this storm.

I will try to keep everyone updated as best I can while also respecting jason's privacy.

Thank you to everyone who has commited to prayer for us, dropped by the hospital to offer support, calls, texts, etc. This is what keeps us going.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Bex In The City Goes to the Country

I wonder if I'll have to change my blog title to Bex In The Country??

Lincoln Missouri... Population 1,026....



... PLUS THREE

Sunday I married my cowboy in a private ceremony with just me and him and our four kids. My cowboy took me away (as the Dixie Chicks song would say).

We are planning a big reception out at the farm in May when the weather gets warmer and we can invite all of our friends and family out. So keep your calendars open!!

An Alternate Book Title

Anyone remember the old Shirley Temple movie Rebecca of Sunnybrook farm?



I never saw the movie, but I had the book when I was younger.

(note to self: I wonder what happened to that book??)

anyway, I found this old poster online the other day...



and turned it into this...



what do you think?

I think it has a nice ring to it.

The Hunt 09

The first deer I've ever killed...



I know, right??

If I was any prouder I'd be sinning. I'm borderline as we speak.

It was the perfect kill. He all but ran right up to me and begged me to shoot him.

I was sitting with my back against a tree when he ran up and stopped about fifty yards away. I got him in my scope and only shot one bullet to take him down. Bad part was, he didn't drop immediately. We had to track blood for about 500 yards into the woods. Oh yeah... and I gut shot him. Oops.

We just got done cutting up the meat today. He'll be good eatin' this winter.

I need to learn how to make a good venison stew.

The Next Nancy Kerrigan?

My girl...



she started ice skating lessons last monday.



Move over, Tara Lipinski!

Cause Audrey Elizabeth is taking the ice!!

(warming up...)



Are these not the cutest little ice skates you've ever seen?



Kristi Yamaguchi ain't got nuttin'!!



Oh it just melts my heart. (but thankfully not the ice!)

Like Mother Like Son

I asked Levi what he had for school lunch today.

this was his response:

"I had barbeque sauce WITH chicken nuggets"

not the other way around.

bahahahaha.

he's for sure my kid!!!!

Fuel Tank

Yesterday....

Levi: "Mom, Audrey said she wants to be just like you when she grows up."

Me: "When did she say that?"

Levi: "Just now when she was walking down the stairs. I heard her say it."

This has been a very difficult couple of weeks. I'm glad that even in the midst of chaos and confusion I must be doing something right that my little girl wants to grow up to be like me. Thank you Lord for the love note. It was exactly the fuel I needed to keep going this week.

Story Starter Cubes

Sis and I ran in to the educational supply store here in town the other day and came out with these for Levi:



and this:



(it's a blank book. Levi wrote his name on the front)

It's not very thick



The idea is...

there are two red cubes, two yellow cubes, and two blue cubes.

the blue cubes have a person on them. the red cubes have a verb on them. the yellow cubes have a place on them.

You take one blue cube, one red cube, and one yellow cube and roll each one.

Then...

here's the fun part...

draw a picture of what you rolled.

example:

"police officer calls the police in the mountains"


how fun is that??!!

Here is the first one he did:

"Grandma gets a telephone call in a classroom"


Levi loves them! Run out and get some for your kids!

They are called Story Starter Cubes and come in a packaging like this:



Although... I'm sure you thrifty types could take the idea and totally make your own. Or even write them on different colors of paper strips and draw one at a time out of a box or something. Save some money.

and have fun!

I've Got Sunshine On A Cloudy Day

My girl...



Yesterday I did a photo shoot with Grant and Brei Cornell and their two adorable boys Jagger and Cash. Brei introduced me to a place I'd never been... just down the street from where I live!! I couldn't wait to get back there today, after I picked Audrey up from preschool, and do a little shoot with her.







... and since this is my blog and I keep it real here...

for every beautiful smile she gave me... I got three of her goofy faces. This is what she looks like MOST of the time...







and here's a teaser pic from Grant and Brei's session...

Murphy's Law

Murphy's Law says...

that during deer season, I won't see any deer but will see a mess of turkeys.

and that during turkey season, I won't see any turkeys... but will see THREE deer!!

um...

sup wit it? yo.

Sunday morning we went out and set up camp in a camo tent that had been set up three days earlier. I was gonna get me a turkey.

Only...

I was tired

and freezing cold.

and bored.

but mainly tired.

so, I decided that Jason could be on the watch for a turkey... and i'd hunker down into my chair and just rest my eyes for a minute. Check them for light leaks.

But just as soon as I'd gotten all snuggled down in my chair in an attempt to get warm.... Jason says to me "there's a buck standing to your right."

yeeeeeeeeeah.

sure.

I told him I wasn't going to fall for that.

so he says "no, really... there is."

me: *eye roll*

so he takes my head in both of his hands... turns it to the right. And sure enough... not 30 feet from me.... was a buck!!!!

just kill me now.

Those animals... they know exactly what they're doing. Sneaky little punks.

Fall Turkey Season 2009

A Heart of Worship

The other day we were in the car jammin' to our worship music (that the kids start begging for as soon as seat belts are buckled!!)

We were singing loudly away when Levi says to me "Mom, can we roll down the windows?" I asked him why he wanted the windows down and his reply was "I want people to hear our music."

An evangelist at the age of five.

Be still my heart. =)

Audrey: The Sleep Chronicles

I've got some funny kids come bedtime.

Levi... he's a sleepwalker. We found this out one night after we got home late at night. The kids had fallen asleep in the truck and had to be woken up to get inside. I got Levi out of the truck, carried him to the front door, set him just inside the threshold and said "Get your pants off and go to the bathroom." Of course... to ME this made sense. He'd need to take his clothes off to get his pajamas on... and after that I wanted him to walk to the bathroom and pee. preferably in the toilet. Only... he wasn't awake. Turns out he was sleepwalking. so HE heard "take your pants off and go to the bathroom"... and literally right there where he was standing in the front doorway... he took his pants off... and proceeded to pee all over the bookcase right inside the door.

That was the first of many (while hilarious) frustrating sleep walking episodes. You just absolutely can not make sense to Levi when he's sleep walking. The best thing to do is just to lead him back to bed, and tuck him back in.

now... Audrey...

she's not a sleepwalker...

she's just a plain crazy sleeper. I've never ever ever been able to share a bed with this kid!! You never know, when you go in to check on her long after she's fallen asleep what kind of position she'll be in.



I decided one night, to start taking pictures of some of her crazier moves, took one picture, then decided it wasn't really all that interesting to anyone else but me anyway...

then there was today...

I had put her down for a nap. She wasn't happy about this. She threw her blankets angrily on the ground...



then fell asleep...

like this...



how in the world can she sleep like that???

this is what I saw when I walked into her room to check on her...



Her hands were tucked underneath her like this...



it just doesn't look comfortable at all to me!!

But oh well. She slept long enough that I had to wake her up to go get Levi from school.

This is what she looked like when I woke her up...

Super Girl

For the last two or three nights this is what Audrey has looked like at our house...



I think it all started when we were at Wal Mart and passed the halloween costumes. Out of all of the costumes.... she spotted one for super girl and just decided that she HAD to have it. Apparantly she wants to be Super Girl for halloween. Well... I didn't buy it. So she's improvising.

Also... the footed pajamas... she doesn't want to wear any other kind lately. Which has become a problem since we only own two pairs like that. we've got a rotation... she wears one while the other's being laundered. Help my water bill!!

My Soccer Stud

Today was picture day for fall sports

I didn't purchase any pictures from the people taking them. I figured I could take one just as good myself.

Turns out I was right.



(click on the picture to make it bigger)

And I don't have to wait weeks to get it back. Ha!

This is Levi's soccer team this year... Crew U6.

(as a sidenote... Levi scored at least 5 goals in his games this morning. I started reading my book after 5 and lost count. He rocks!)

(as another sidenote. I wasn't thrilled about the 8:00 game time this morning!!... but got to have gummi bears for breakfast. being an adult is so cool.)

Back In MY Day....

you didn't get PAID for going to summer school!!

check this out...



it's not every day you see a five year old's name on a Visa debit card...

... in the amount of $100!!!!!

It was an incentives program this summer. Kids with perfect summer school attendance got $100.

He's been having fun blowing right through that wad, too. :)

Hmmm

*brain turns over in head*

I wonder if I could homeschool and just send him to public schools in the summer... to get the money.

bahahaha.

I crack me up.

(did you see the expiration date on it though? he has to use it before December. It's not even good for a whole year. I guess beggers can't be choosers)

Um....

Has it really been over a month since I blogged?

Pffffff.

I won't make any excuses. the pictures will speak for themselves for how busy we've been. Whew!

We started out the month with a visit from my parents!! They were on their way back to Virginia from dropping Thessali off at college. They got to stay a couple of days and hang out. It was nice to have them here

September 3rd we went to the small town of Lincoln, Missouri (where Jason lives) for Lincoln football night. Let me explain. Lincoln is a small farming community. Population 1,026. They have one school and it is a K-12. This is their first year to have a highschool football team and the entire community is pumped about it! They put in a turf field, put up lights, consession stand... the works. It's all fancy shmancy. anyway... to kick off this new exciting part of Lincoln, they had a football night and invited a linebacker who used to play for the Kansas City chiefs to speak, sign autographed pictures, etc. They made a pretty big deal out of the night. They had a punt, pass, and kick competition for three different age groups and there was a first, second, and third place trophy for each age group. Levi competed in his age group. They also had a mini cheerleading camp. and my favorite part... there was gobs of doorprizes and everyone who came could enter. which means that even Levi and Audrey got to put their names in. So anyway... when they announced the winners of the punt, pass, kick competition and Levi didn't get a trophy he was pretty bummed. I had him on my lap and I was telling him that not everyone could win and that that's ok. He was pretty crushed cause he really had given it his best. After they announced the winners of the trophies they went directly into drawing names for the door prizes. and don't you know Levi... the kid who I was just trying to console by telling him that he wouldn't always win... he won a doorprize!!! He got a free large pizza from one of the two gas stations in town. Jason's daughter Logan's name got drawn for 5 quarts of motor oil (ha!) and Jason's mom's name got drawn for a free haircut from a local business. I think we made out pretty good as a group in the door prize department!

anyway... here's pictures of Levi giving it his all in the punt, pass, kick competition:



Audrey with her Lincoln cardinal tattoo that the cheerleaders were putting on the little kids:



The weekend of the 4th, 5th, and 6th my children's sperm donor was in town. That was a less than enjoyable experience for all... but we survived.

Monday the 7th there was no school because of Labor Day, so the kids and I drove to Lincoln again because Jason's mom was going to have a birthday lunch for Logan. She had turned 14(!!) on Sunday the 6th. I decided at the last minute to drive down super early in enough time to pick Jason up from work at 7 as he was getting off from working the night shift. This meant that we had to be up at 5:00 on our day off from school. Ouch. It also meant that when we got out to the farm, there were still cobwebs with morning dew hanging from the iron rails on the stairs leading up to the laundry room side door. I had to take a pic. I love love love the beautiful early morning hours at the farm. It's a shame that I rarely get up early enough to enjoy them. :(



Tuesday the 8th was Audrey's first day of preschool. She picked out her own outfit that morning saying to me "my friends will like me in this." I let her wear what she picked out because it was actually decent. But little does she know that her friends would like her in whatever she wore. I think Audrey is one of the most likeable children ever. Jason was here for her first day since he'd also been here for Levi's first day.

Both kids on Audrey's first day of school (sporting new tennis shoes that grandma and pawpaw bought them when they visited at the first of the month):







walking down to the school:



head, shoulders, knees, and toes:



after school with me and Jason:





I signed Levi up for fall soccer and his first game was Saturday September 12th. He LOVES it and is actually pretty good. Of course, the coaches son on the team is some sort of powerhouse machine who dominates the field. But Levi held his own and played an awesome game. We have games every saturday morning for the next six weeks.





That Saturday night was also the first Mizzou home football game and Jason and I took the kids. Well, three of the kids. Logan had a volleyball tournament all day so she couldn't come up with Jason and Jake. man, between Levi playing soccer, Jake playing youth football, and Logan playing volleyball we've got a full sports schedule this fall!!! This was both Jason and Jake's first time ever attending a college football game and we all had a good time. It was a great night for a game.







Audrey flirted with the guy sitting behind us until he gave her a gold mizzou necklace. She's gonna be trouble, that one!



those blue eyes I love so much:



so I guess that brings us up to the present. This weekend we've got a soccer game on Saturday in Columbia and then we'll be heading to Lincoln for Jake's football game.

I keep saying I'll try to be better about blogging. I already have the next one written in my head. Check back soon!!